This week's Works For Me Wednesdays is a backwards edition. For those of you who don't regularly follow Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer (how could you not? ☺ ) this means that I ask you, my readers, for your best advice.
Last week, I shared how we are helping the iDaughter with her responsibility by setting her up with a Google calendar. It is working well, and she is always "in the know" with what is going on.
Here is a new issue we are working on... forgetfulness.
Does anyone have any good tips for helping her to remember the physical possessions (like books, lunch boxes, and homework)?
So far, we've tried... putting things right by the front door, not going home for forgotten items and letting her suffer the classroom consequences, and making her "settle" for cafeteria lunch when she forgot her lunch box. So far, these things aren't helping.
Does anyone have anything else to try?
10 comments:
Something that worked for us is that it was required that things were gathered the night before. Lunches were made, backpacks packed, etc. I gave my kids each one "pass" each semester - if they forgot a book or paper, I would make one trip to the school to deliver it. If it happened a second time, they were out of luck. This really did seem to teach them to be responsible for their things. (OK, in reality, if they forgot something HUGE, I would make a second trip to school - I'm not THAT mean!)
Some people are born with curly hair,and some are born with straight hair. Some are organized, and some...
If you're having her put her things right by the door, and she still forgets... Is she stepping over them to leave? I mean, how does she exit?
I'm shrugging my shoulders here; I just don't know.
The first thing I would say is that if she's really trying, don't be hard on her about it. I have always been very forgetful, and my mom used to ask me, "Why can't you remember things?!?!?!?" And I'd think, "If I knew, do you think it would still be a problem?!?!?!?!" I got downright depressed about it for awhile.
Putting things by the front door doesn't help me remember them. By the time I go out the door, that pile is just one more obstacle to be stepped over. What works is putting it in the car so I don't have to remember it. Of course, if it has to be refrigerated...I still forget that stuff about half the time.
What helps me the most is reducing the number of things I have to collect, remember, and organize. Combine stuff as much as possible. I can keep track of two things, usually, but when I have to hold onto three things or more, it starts to look like an episode of the Three Stooges. (Hmmm, maybe that's why God has only given me two children.)
Above all, I would say to acknowledge and praise all efforts, and to encourage her. I get very discouraged when my efforts to keep track of stuff, remember events, hurry up, get places on time, and be organized don't pay off. Having someone get upset with me on top of my own upset makes me want to throw in the towel, but a little encouragement makes me feel like trying again.
My kids are still young enough that I'm the one who's responsible for their stuff, but it's me that's the forgetful one.
What works for me is a note on the door, placed strategically at the keyhole, where I can't unlock the door without seeing it. I list whatever things I need to bring/remember so that I can do a last minute double-check right as I walk out the door. Works most of the time ;-).
I'm a forgetter, too, like heidi. I'll add to her hint and say that I'm learning to be dependent on checklists. I have checklists for just about everything, from morning to-take-alongs to my before-bed chores.
I also like longevity...if I complete my before-bed checklist, I make a note somewhere. I reward myself with five nights in a row...ten nights in a row...50 nights in a row, etc. If I miss so much as ONE NIGHT, then I have to go back to the beginning! That way I only have to think about one night at a time, but I have all that 'success momentum' pushing me forward.
And smiling sal wants to know how your daughter gets out the door: "Is she stepping over them to leave?" The answer? Yes. That's what I do with things. I have clutter everywhere because I just step over it. It's a bad habit, and I'm getting better.
Heidi,
Thanks for the reminder about encouragement. I do have to remember that she is just a frustrated about it as the rest of us.
Mindy
Some people actually have Executive Dysfunction. Usually it is associated with ADHD, Autism Spectrum disorders, and other such diagnosis but can exist on it's own. Look it up. If it sounds like your child, you may wish to have her tested.
My son has this due to Asperger's Syndrome and trust me, it is so not intentional but oh boy is it an uphill battle. Good luck!
I have ADD myself and I forget things all the time. Just this morning I had some things to take to work with me in my hands, put them down on the kitchen table to pick up my bag and purse, and walked out the door without the things on the table. I didn't think of them again until I came home and saw them on the table.
I think it is important to remember that she's trying too, and to praise her as much as possible for trying. It might also be helpful to ask her, "what do you think might help you to remember you things for school?" Sometimes kids are able to or are more willing to try to work on a problem if they are part of the solution. Also remember, that just because something would work as a reminder for you, doesn't mean it'll work for her.
I rely a lot on post it notes placed in strategic places, that I'll see, such as on the door, or on my bag telling me to get something out of the refrigerator, etc.
I just thought of one other thing that's helped me - I read in a book about ADD/ADHD that it was helpful to have a place in the house that is the "launch pad." Everything that you will need to leave the house has a place at the launch pad, which is near the front door, or whatever. So ideally, in the morning, you go and get all of your things from your launching spot before you go.
This helps me because I am not a morning person, and I have an easier time getting my things together the night before, when I'm not rushed, and putting it all in one place near the door. Then in the morning I don't have to think about what I need. Of course, I still might need a post it to remind me to take the stuff! LOL
Write up a list & put it on the front door.
Post a Comment